Potty Training 101

I hope that soon Miss T. will be back on the potty training wagon. It is not my decision to forgo it for now as she is definitely capable and ready in many respects but we are making sure that the UTI issue and medication side effects are definitely resolved before proceeding. I believe also that a family meeting will have to happen first to be sure that everyone is one the same page concerning how to proceed. The first time around it became readily apparent that she was not being made to sit on the potty often enough and not being checked for accidents but rather being put back in diapers whenever it was more convenient to do so. This was creating confusion for Miss T. and leading her toward the bad habit of being comfortable in wet underclothes.

Anyway, by ready for training I refer to the following:

• She is aware of her goings and can communicate such
• She is dry for periods of time during the day
• She is mobile enough to get to the potty
• She is not in the middle of illness, especially diarrhea
  

Age is only a minor factor but usually around 2 to 2 1/2 many kids will be ready by these standards. For some children readiness will happen earlier, for some later. It's not a competition to try to get them trained when they are barely walking since that will only make it into a long, drawn out affair during which a parent or caregiver is more likely to become as tired and frustrated by it as the child. Once a child is ready it is often just a matter of 1 or 2 weeks for the main part of potty training to be complete. I generally only do daytime training at this age as many kids are still in cribs at this age and it would be impossible for them to readily get out when they need to go. In addition, waking up dry will usually happen on its own, provided they get into the habit of going one last time right before bed.

As for training there is not too much to it. First, if a child has been in disposable diapers they need to gain a realization of when they have gone. Disposables keep them so dry that there is usually not connection for them. For indoors, I recommend plastic lined underpants. I would not buy to many pairs because these are really an optional, temporary measure to protect carpeting and furniture a little better. If you don't mind a little extra cleaning or plan to be outdoors or in the kitchen most of the time feel free to go straight to the thicker cotton underpants.

Be ready for a few wet days before the connection is made between the feeling of anticipation and the point at which it is too late. It is normal, so don't discourage easily. Also, don't curb water intake. The more they drink the more practice they will get. Watch out for constipation during this time as well. Some kids will hold back due to anxiety and this may start a cycle of fear to go if they get so constipated it hurts to go. Fruits starting with the letter P help things move along: prunes, plums, peaches, (ripe) pears. Avoid too many apples, apple sauce, cheese, and bananas if they are not going as often as usual.

I usually switch right over by first talking with the little trainee about how exciting it is to be a big kids with no more diapers. I let the sit without any expectation to go before training officially starts. Once in training leftover diapers (if there are any) can be used up at night after the last seat on the toilet before bed. If once they used to regular underpants they no longer want to wear a diaper anymore, and they are waking up dry in the morning pretty often, try using those plastic lied underpants can be pulled on over training underpants until they are dry at night 99.9 percent of the time. It may cutback the number of other things getting wet at night.

The day before or the same day training starts set up a sticker chart in the bathroom and put aside "special" stickers, usually shiny stars but anything they like is fine, just for training. For the first few days I sit them on the toilet at least every two hours and definitely about 10-20 minutes after a meal and before a nap. They get a sticker for each time they sit. If they want they can read some books in there but for some kids it is too distracting. Let common sense be your guide.

I start out giving stickers for each time they sit. Once they have had some success with making "deposits" I cut the stickers back to each success. I maintain a cheerful, positive, "you can do it!" demeanor. I think it is important not to show anger or frustration over a lack of success. This is the easiest way to turn a developmental milestone into a power struggle.

It is also best to plan for a pretty low-key, at home week to start training. They should be as close as possible to home and the bathroom or potty chair. I can't make any potty chair recommendations because I have never used them. I prefer the toilet seat inserts. Some people do not even use these. I have heard that if you don't have one a child can sit backward on the regular seat for better stability. I have done this while traveling once or twice but usually had a travel potty seat. Just as a caution however, those travel seat are for very occasional use only. They are not as stable so a toddler needs some extra care and support getting on or off to prevent slipping. While I never personally had one of these pinch a kid I read online that this has happened. This might be prevented through using tissue at the seams. If I were really in doubt however I would bright their regular seat in a zippered tote bag. Whenever I was on an extended trip the regular seat was always brought along.

Preparedness and positive encouragement have been my keys to potty training.

Photo credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/86603835@N00/19650368/