School Dazed

Miss T. started school for the first time on Monday. She is a bit young for it, not even 2 1/2 yet. The first day was only 1 hour long and went by fairly uneventfully, except for her being exhausted come nap time and really over sleeping. The second day she bumped her head on a door handle and cried inconsolably until she was brought back to her parents. There are still three more days to try this out this week but I honestly do not think she is ready for it. She has no enthusiasm for going, no clear idea of what is going on, and her attention span is lacking for the type of serious Montessori environment the school has set up. I have not actually been there yet but I have read up on the school quite a bit and Miss T.'s mom has already had indications from the staff there that they feel Miss T. may not be ready. The rigorous 5 day a week schedule is a bit much for Miss T., in my opinion.

This is really the first family of toddlers where I was not asked to assess the school or the child's readiness. It does not surprise me too much because in the area I am in there are quite a few "nannies" that really are not qualified to be called such. They are many babysitters/housekeepers. I find it disappointing but that's reality. We will see if Miss T. can manage even partial days for now, otherwise her parents will pull her now and restart later in the year or early next year. At this point I'm not sure which course I'd recommend.

Some potty training success

I was quite happy to return from my long weekend on Tuesday to hear that Miss T. continued to use the potty with her parents, even while away at her Nana's house! She actually asked them to use the potty!! During the day she is in underpants only (while with me) and at night her parents put her to bed in a diaper. I have reservations about the mixed messages this is sending, especially since they usually wait until I come in the next morning for me to make the switch back underpants for the day and by this time she is often both wet and soiled. Due to my schedule I do not know whether this happened in the morning and she is actually waking dry/clean or not. I suggested that they not order anymore diapers and use the lined underpants for the night after one last potty just before bed then potty again first thing in the morning. Time will tell whether they will actually do this.

This just demonstrates one thing. Being a nanny is not for the control freak. There are many times on most any day where things must be done as the parents want them done even if the nanny does not agree with them. Every effort must be made to show no opposition to those parental decisions to the child. That is as detrimental to a child as when parents contradict each other's decisions or undermine each other's authority. It's quite useless too because the parents are the only authority and caregiver who will be there for the child throughout their life. As much as we nannies try to blend into the family there are just and necessary boundaries.

When a real issue comes up in which a nanny feels that the parent's decision might be truly harmful (from a developmental standpoint) every effort must be made to meet with the parent separately from the child with concrete back-up as to why the nanny believes the decision is wrong. Even then, the final decision rests in the parents' hands. If physical harm/abuse were possible that is a whole other case. Contact whatever help appropriate and necessary and be prepared again to give concrete back-up.

The vast majority of the time however our differences stem from personal quirks and our own preferred modus operandi. We need to own up to that and move on so we can continue to enjoy the perks of a job that's rewarding emotionally and financially. Not every job gets bonuses paid in smiley, silly, smoochy hugs!

Italian Style Meatloaf (or Un-meatloaf for Vegetarians)

This is kind of a two in one recipe since they are both so similar. I have never had a kid not like either recipe and adults seem to have no problems polishing off the rest ;)

1 lb ground turkey, preferably a mix of light and dark OR 2 cans black beans, undrained
2 links mild Italian sausage, take off casings (skip for un-meatloaf and add 1/2 t. each oregano, basil, thyme, parsley and 1/4 t. ground coriander)
1/2-1 C. bread crumbs Italian style or add 1/2 t. each oregano, basil, thyme, and parsley to plain crumbs
1/2 medium onion minced
1 T extra virgin olive oil
1-2 eggs
1/4 C. Parmesan cheese
1/2 t. salt
black pepper
2 T. tomato paste

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
  
• Saute onion on medium heat for about 5 min. or until soft and clear but not browned. If you are using turkey breast or making the loaf with beans rather than regular ground turkey (which is mixed) add 2 T. olive oil after onion is cooked to help keep the (un)meatloaf from being too dry.
• In a bowl mix together the turkey, sausage, bread crumbs, cheese, and eggs. OR Mash the beans with a potato masher and mix with the bread crumbs, cheese, and eggs. If the veggie loaf seems to dry/crumbly add a few T. water or milk, if it is too wet add more bread crumbs it should be easily mold able and not soupy.
• Let onions cool a few minutes before adding to the mix and mix in thoroughly.
  
• Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Juices should run clear for turkey and center should be firm for veggie loaf. Mix tomato paste with 3-4 T warm water to make easily spreadable and put over the top for the last 10 minutes.

Optional additions:

• Sprinkle dried basil and parley over the tomato paste or lay a few leaves of fresh basil over the top before putting the loaf back in the oven.
• Add 2 diced carrots and 1 diced celery stalk to the onions and saute all together. The extra veggies add flavor, moisture, vitamins, and texture.
  
• Add 1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts to the veggie loaf for the extra bite too often missing from meat substitutes.
• Marjoram can be substituted for oregano if preferred.
• Veggie recipe can also be made into patties and cooked in a lightly oiled pan on the stove top or on a baking sheet in the oven with oil brushed lightly over the top. Bake patties for about 15-20 minutes and flip after 10 minutes. Great as burgers with ketchup.
  

Toys

Hannah at Cultivating Home put up a great link to another post on toys not made in China. Great information and links for even more information.

I especially liked the tips on making toys. Kids I have worked with have enjoyed this so much and some things are actually much better homemade, such as play dough. The commercial stuff is often to stiff for little fingers and comes in too small an amount for working with multiple kids or making bigger things. I also like that homemade play dough is cheap enough that no one feels guilty if colors get mixed or it gets contaminated in some way and has to be thrown away. After an illness, for example, I throw away play dough if they have been playing with it while sick.

Here's the recipe I use:

Cooked Play-dough

I let children in my care who are old enough to sit in a high chair steadily start playing with this dough but use your best judgment. Kept in a plastic container or zipper bag it keeps for quite a while while retaining its smooth, soft texture but I like to replace it every few months or even more often if a child still puts their hands in their mouth a lot. It has no preservatives other than the high salt content so if it ever smells off toss it. I've never had this happen but you never know.

Combine in a medium saucepan: 1 cup flour, 1/4 cup salt, 1 tsp. cream of tartar

Add and whisk until smooth: 1 cup water, 1 Tbsp oil, Food coloring add just a little bit at a time until you get the desired color. Any type of food coloring can be used. Do not use paints though to keep the end product non-toxic. I have never cared for a kid who didn't at least taste test!

Cook over medium to medium-low heat until it clumps together and pulls away from the sides of the pan. Some people add fragrance (essential oils) or extracts but I never do to cut down any possibility of irritation.

Take it off the heat and turn over onto a cutting board (preferably plastic), wax paper, or an easily cleanable counter top and let it cool just enough to handle. This doesn't take very long, only a minute or two. Start kneading the very warm dough, the more you knead it the smoother and more elastic it will be. When you feel it is cool enough for little hands to handle pass along chunks of it to the littles to knead too.

The first few times kids play with it I usually make sure they play with it on an easily cleanable surface, such as a cheap plastic table cloth, to make sure the coloring doesn't stain anything. It never has but I don't take chances ;)

I Love Scunci "No Slip"

"Long Hair" by William Whitacker

What a corny title for a post, huh? But I do love those "no slip" clips and such by Scunci. While out with Miss T. today in search of the really little, soft pony tail holders for her hair I found a great headband from that same line. So far it has been on my head a whole hour without a headache yet, which is an accomplishment since I'm usually done with a headband in about 20 minutes. Usually the pressure right behind the ears gets to me or the ones that are flexible enough not to do that slip around and make a big mess of my hair instead of making it look nice and neat, which is kind of the point of a headband!

I also picked up a no-slip jaw clip made for thick hair. My hair is not particularly thick but is long enough that it needs to be folded a couple times before putting up in a jaw clip. The no slip part of these products is a rubbery coating or "teeth" on the inside. In the headband this soft rubber is also on the ends which I think is why it has been pain free so far. A downside to some may be that the inside of the headband won't really comb into position as hard plastic or metal teeth would so your hair has to be already as you want it before putting on the headband. I chose the double band style because it seemed that it would not to have as much tension on the curve as a wider band might

Miss T. "helped" pick out her pony holders first as I find it easiest to give littles the job of holding something in a store. One thing in each hand prevents wandering fingers ;) At the supermarket she usually makes sure we don't forget the fruit she is in charge of holding, but I have to first make sure its bagged and knotted shut to prevent her from sampling the merchandise! Her second favorite thing to hold is a cottage cheese or yogurt "drum." Even with just one kiddie with me right now I still find it best to make riding in the carriage a requirement until they are adept with following instructions and/or can be trusted to handle a "job" in the store, such as picking out a veggie.

Boy, I do go off on tangents! :P Anyway, if you need a basic headband or jaw clip those no slip Scunci things are a great way to go. Now, I wish they'd make them in kiddie sizes :) They so have the most slippery hair!

Nanny Contracts

The first things I can say about the nanny work contract is that they are invaluable. It is on my mind right now because mine is nearly up. This doesn't mean I am out the door but rather it is my opportunity to sit down and thoroughly go over how things are working and what is not working.

I use a very detailed contract. It states my pay rate, hours, sick and vacation time, of course, but it also goes over the duties I will fulfill for a family, what I will not do, my style of discipline, what to do in case of an emergency and various other things. Each year those details will change slightly in the way that a home management binder or curriculum changes year to year. I try to formulate new goals with a family. The goal might be to have a little one potty trained or to spend a minimum number of hours per week on preschool skills or physical activity.

When meeting a new family I bring a sample of my contract with me so they can see up front what I am about and I can also see their reactions to my style. I kind of look at my style as Mary Poppins-ish, firm but kind, caring but not a pushover. If you watch the movie (which I love!) she was rather strict with high expectations of both children and parents but soft when the children needed it. I prefer to start out firmer and relax as the situation permits rather than too soft and have an uncontrollable youngster on my hands that needs to be strongly redirected.

Contracts need to be tailored to each nanny and family but if anyone would like a sample please leave a comment and I can email you a copy in Word format. It is a starting point. Not every detail in these contracts may be legally binding and laws vary state to state, so if you are in doubt contact a lawyer!

Potty Training 101

I hope that soon Miss T. will be back on the potty training wagon. It is not my decision to forgo it for now as she is definitely capable and ready in many respects but we are making sure that the UTI issue and medication side effects are definitely resolved before proceeding. I believe also that a family meeting will have to happen first to be sure that everyone is one the same page concerning how to proceed. The first time around it became readily apparent that she was not being made to sit on the potty often enough and not being checked for accidents but rather being put back in diapers whenever it was more convenient to do so. This was creating confusion for Miss T. and leading her toward the bad habit of being comfortable in wet underclothes.

Anyway, by ready for training I refer to the following:

• She is aware of her goings and can communicate such
• She is dry for periods of time during the day
• She is mobile enough to get to the potty
• She is not in the middle of illness, especially diarrhea
  

Age is only a minor factor but usually around 2 to 2 1/2 many kids will be ready by these standards. For some children readiness will happen earlier, for some later. It's not a competition to try to get them trained when they are barely walking since that will only make it into a long, drawn out affair during which a parent or caregiver is more likely to become as tired and frustrated by it as the child. Once a child is ready it is often just a matter of 1 or 2 weeks for the main part of potty training to be complete. I generally only do daytime training at this age as many kids are still in cribs at this age and it would be impossible for them to readily get out when they need to go. In addition, waking up dry will usually happen on its own, provided they get into the habit of going one last time right before bed.

As for training there is not too much to it. First, if a child has been in disposable diapers they need to gain a realization of when they have gone. Disposables keep them so dry that there is usually not connection for them. For indoors, I recommend plastic lined underpants. I would not buy to many pairs because these are really an optional, temporary measure to protect carpeting and furniture a little better. If you don't mind a little extra cleaning or plan to be outdoors or in the kitchen most of the time feel free to go straight to the thicker cotton underpants.

Be ready for a few wet days before the connection is made between the feeling of anticipation and the point at which it is too late. It is normal, so don't discourage easily. Also, don't curb water intake. The more they drink the more practice they will get. Watch out for constipation during this time as well. Some kids will hold back due to anxiety and this may start a cycle of fear to go if they get so constipated it hurts to go. Fruits starting with the letter P help things move along: prunes, plums, peaches, (ripe) pears. Avoid too many apples, apple sauce, cheese, and bananas if they are not going as often as usual.

I usually switch right over by first talking with the little trainee about how exciting it is to be a big kids with no more diapers. I let the sit without any expectation to go before training officially starts. Once in training leftover diapers (if there are any) can be used up at night after the last seat on the toilet before bed. If once they used to regular underpants they no longer want to wear a diaper anymore, and they are waking up dry in the morning pretty often, try using those plastic lied underpants can be pulled on over training underpants until they are dry at night 99.9 percent of the time. It may cutback the number of other things getting wet at night.

The day before or the same day training starts set up a sticker chart in the bathroom and put aside "special" stickers, usually shiny stars but anything they like is fine, just for training. For the first few days I sit them on the toilet at least every two hours and definitely about 10-20 minutes after a meal and before a nap. They get a sticker for each time they sit. If they want they can read some books in there but for some kids it is too distracting. Let common sense be your guide.

I start out giving stickers for each time they sit. Once they have had some success with making "deposits" I cut the stickers back to each success. I maintain a cheerful, positive, "you can do it!" demeanor. I think it is important not to show anger or frustration over a lack of success. This is the easiest way to turn a developmental milestone into a power struggle.

It is also best to plan for a pretty low-key, at home week to start training. They should be as close as possible to home and the bathroom or potty chair. I can't make any potty chair recommendations because I have never used them. I prefer the toilet seat inserts. Some people do not even use these. I have heard that if you don't have one a child can sit backward on the regular seat for better stability. I have done this while traveling once or twice but usually had a travel potty seat. Just as a caution however, those travel seat are for very occasional use only. They are not as stable so a toddler needs some extra care and support getting on or off to prevent slipping. While I never personally had one of these pinch a kid I read online that this has happened. This might be prevented through using tissue at the seams. If I were really in doubt however I would bright their regular seat in a zippered tote bag. Whenever I was on an extended trip the regular seat was always brought along.

Preparedness and positive encouragement have been my keys to potty training.

Photo credit:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/86603835@N00/19650368/