False Starts

I don't think Miss T. has a grasp yet on what this school stuff is supposed to be. Today was another day of refusing to even enter the classroom. We sat out in the hall a while. It was three of us: Miss T., her mommy, and I. Miss T. ran back and forth down the hall a while peering into the classroom but each time decided she'd rather stay in the hall. After about 20 minutes of this the Miss T. was given the choice to go into class or go home. She wanted to stay in the hall which eventually amounted to going home.

I have mixed feeling on the whole thing. I think she is too young, especially to have this kind of decision on her hands. She is independent at home within the safe watch of her parents or myself and loves doing many of the same things she would be doing at the school at this point. I personally plan to homeschool once I am blessed with little ones so my input here is pretty negligible. However, I think even if I was going to have my children trained by a school I would not send them so young that they have no way of comprehending what is going on. On the other hand many parents would believe my decision to homeschool to be overprotective and try to get their children in school and "socialized" as early as possible.

Her school directress told us that even if Miss T. goes in for as little as 15 minutes a day eventually her interest will grow and she will become more capable for classwork, gradually moving into it for the full schedule. We will see in the coming weeks if we can first work up to the fifteen minutes.

School Dazed

Miss T. started school for the first time on Monday. She is a bit young for it, not even 2 1/2 yet. The first day was only 1 hour long and went by fairly uneventfully, except for her being exhausted come nap time and really over sleeping. The second day she bumped her head on a door handle and cried inconsolably until she was brought back to her parents. There are still three more days to try this out this week but I honestly do not think she is ready for it. She has no enthusiasm for going, no clear idea of what is going on, and her attention span is lacking for the type of serious Montessori environment the school has set up. I have not actually been there yet but I have read up on the school quite a bit and Miss T.'s mom has already had indications from the staff there that they feel Miss T. may not be ready. The rigorous 5 day a week schedule is a bit much for Miss T., in my opinion.

This is really the first family of toddlers where I was not asked to assess the school or the child's readiness. It does not surprise me too much because in the area I am in there are quite a few "nannies" that really are not qualified to be called such. They are many babysitters/housekeepers. I find it disappointing but that's reality. We will see if Miss T. can manage even partial days for now, otherwise her parents will pull her now and restart later in the year or early next year. At this point I'm not sure which course I'd recommend.

Some potty training success

I was quite happy to return from my long weekend on Tuesday to hear that Miss T. continued to use the potty with her parents, even while away at her Nana's house! She actually asked them to use the potty!! During the day she is in underpants only (while with me) and at night her parents put her to bed in a diaper. I have reservations about the mixed messages this is sending, especially since they usually wait until I come in the next morning for me to make the switch back underpants for the day and by this time she is often both wet and soiled. Due to my schedule I do not know whether this happened in the morning and she is actually waking dry/clean or not. I suggested that they not order anymore diapers and use the lined underpants for the night after one last potty just before bed then potty again first thing in the morning. Time will tell whether they will actually do this.

This just demonstrates one thing. Being a nanny is not for the control freak. There are many times on most any day where things must be done as the parents want them done even if the nanny does not agree with them. Every effort must be made to show no opposition to those parental decisions to the child. That is as detrimental to a child as when parents contradict each other's decisions or undermine each other's authority. It's quite useless too because the parents are the only authority and caregiver who will be there for the child throughout their life. As much as we nannies try to blend into the family there are just and necessary boundaries.

When a real issue comes up in which a nanny feels that the parent's decision might be truly harmful (from a developmental standpoint) every effort must be made to meet with the parent separately from the child with concrete back-up as to why the nanny believes the decision is wrong. Even then, the final decision rests in the parents' hands. If physical harm/abuse were possible that is a whole other case. Contact whatever help appropriate and necessary and be prepared again to give concrete back-up.

The vast majority of the time however our differences stem from personal quirks and our own preferred modus operandi. We need to own up to that and move on so we can continue to enjoy the perks of a job that's rewarding emotionally and financially. Not every job gets bonuses paid in smiley, silly, smoochy hugs!

Italian Style Meatloaf (or Un-meatloaf for Vegetarians)

This is kind of a two in one recipe since they are both so similar. I have never had a kid not like either recipe and adults seem to have no problems polishing off the rest ;)

1 lb ground turkey, preferably a mix of light and dark OR 2 cans black beans, undrained
2 links mild Italian sausage, take off casings (skip for un-meatloaf and add 1/2 t. each oregano, basil, thyme, parsley and 1/4 t. ground coriander)
1/2-1 C. bread crumbs Italian style or add 1/2 t. each oregano, basil, thyme, and parsley to plain crumbs
1/2 medium onion minced
1 T extra virgin olive oil
1-2 eggs
1/4 C. Parmesan cheese
1/2 t. salt
black pepper
2 T. tomato paste

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
  
• Saute onion on medium heat for about 5 min. or until soft and clear but not browned. If you are using turkey breast or making the loaf with beans rather than regular ground turkey (which is mixed) add 2 T. olive oil after onion is cooked to help keep the (un)meatloaf from being too dry.
• In a bowl mix together the turkey, sausage, bread crumbs, cheese, and eggs. OR Mash the beans with a potato masher and mix with the bread crumbs, cheese, and eggs. If the veggie loaf seems to dry/crumbly add a few T. water or milk, if it is too wet add more bread crumbs it should be easily mold able and not soupy.
• Let onions cool a few minutes before adding to the mix and mix in thoroughly.
  
• Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Juices should run clear for turkey and center should be firm for veggie loaf. Mix tomato paste with 3-4 T warm water to make easily spreadable and put over the top for the last 10 minutes.

Optional additions:

• Sprinkle dried basil and parley over the tomato paste or lay a few leaves of fresh basil over the top before putting the loaf back in the oven.
• Add 2 diced carrots and 1 diced celery stalk to the onions and saute all together. The extra veggies add flavor, moisture, vitamins, and texture.
  
• Add 1/2 cup coarsely chopped walnuts to the veggie loaf for the extra bite too often missing from meat substitutes.
• Marjoram can be substituted for oregano if preferred.
• Veggie recipe can also be made into patties and cooked in a lightly oiled pan on the stove top or on a baking sheet in the oven with oil brushed lightly over the top. Bake patties for about 15-20 minutes and flip after 10 minutes. Great as burgers with ketchup.
  

Toys

Hannah at Cultivating Home put up a great link to another post on toys not made in China. Great information and links for even more information.

I especially liked the tips on making toys. Kids I have worked with have enjoyed this so much and some things are actually much better homemade, such as play dough. The commercial stuff is often to stiff for little fingers and comes in too small an amount for working with multiple kids or making bigger things. I also like that homemade play dough is cheap enough that no one feels guilty if colors get mixed or it gets contaminated in some way and has to be thrown away. After an illness, for example, I throw away play dough if they have been playing with it while sick.

Here's the recipe I use:

Cooked Play-dough

I let children in my care who are old enough to sit in a high chair steadily start playing with this dough but use your best judgment. Kept in a plastic container or zipper bag it keeps for quite a while while retaining its smooth, soft texture but I like to replace it every few months or even more often if a child still puts their hands in their mouth a lot. It has no preservatives other than the high salt content so if it ever smells off toss it. I've never had this happen but you never know.

Combine in a medium saucepan: 1 cup flour, 1/4 cup salt, 1 tsp. cream of tartar

Add and whisk until smooth: 1 cup water, 1 Tbsp oil, Food coloring add just a little bit at a time until you get the desired color. Any type of food coloring can be used. Do not use paints though to keep the end product non-toxic. I have never cared for a kid who didn't at least taste test!

Cook over medium to medium-low heat until it clumps together and pulls away from the sides of the pan. Some people add fragrance (essential oils) or extracts but I never do to cut down any possibility of irritation.

Take it off the heat and turn over onto a cutting board (preferably plastic), wax paper, or an easily cleanable counter top and let it cool just enough to handle. This doesn't take very long, only a minute or two. Start kneading the very warm dough, the more you knead it the smoother and more elastic it will be. When you feel it is cool enough for little hands to handle pass along chunks of it to the littles to knead too.

The first few times kids play with it I usually make sure they play with it on an easily cleanable surface, such as a cheap plastic table cloth, to make sure the coloring doesn't stain anything. It never has but I don't take chances ;)

I Love Scunci "No Slip"

"Long Hair" by William Whitacker

What a corny title for a post, huh? But I do love those "no slip" clips and such by Scunci. While out with Miss T. today in search of the really little, soft pony tail holders for her hair I found a great headband from that same line. So far it has been on my head a whole hour without a headache yet, which is an accomplishment since I'm usually done with a headband in about 20 minutes. Usually the pressure right behind the ears gets to me or the ones that are flexible enough not to do that slip around and make a big mess of my hair instead of making it look nice and neat, which is kind of the point of a headband!

I also picked up a no-slip jaw clip made for thick hair. My hair is not particularly thick but is long enough that it needs to be folded a couple times before putting up in a jaw clip. The no slip part of these products is a rubbery coating or "teeth" on the inside. In the headband this soft rubber is also on the ends which I think is why it has been pain free so far. A downside to some may be that the inside of the headband won't really comb into position as hard plastic or metal teeth would so your hair has to be already as you want it before putting on the headband. I chose the double band style because it seemed that it would not to have as much tension on the curve as a wider band might

Miss T. "helped" pick out her pony holders first as I find it easiest to give littles the job of holding something in a store. One thing in each hand prevents wandering fingers ;) At the supermarket she usually makes sure we don't forget the fruit she is in charge of holding, but I have to first make sure its bagged and knotted shut to prevent her from sampling the merchandise! Her second favorite thing to hold is a cottage cheese or yogurt "drum." Even with just one kiddie with me right now I still find it best to make riding in the carriage a requirement until they are adept with following instructions and/or can be trusted to handle a "job" in the store, such as picking out a veggie.

Boy, I do go off on tangents! :P Anyway, if you need a basic headband or jaw clip those no slip Scunci things are a great way to go. Now, I wish they'd make them in kiddie sizes :) They so have the most slippery hair!

Nanny Contracts

The first things I can say about the nanny work contract is that they are invaluable. It is on my mind right now because mine is nearly up. This doesn't mean I am out the door but rather it is my opportunity to sit down and thoroughly go over how things are working and what is not working.

I use a very detailed contract. It states my pay rate, hours, sick and vacation time, of course, but it also goes over the duties I will fulfill for a family, what I will not do, my style of discipline, what to do in case of an emergency and various other things. Each year those details will change slightly in the way that a home management binder or curriculum changes year to year. I try to formulate new goals with a family. The goal might be to have a little one potty trained or to spend a minimum number of hours per week on preschool skills or physical activity.

When meeting a new family I bring a sample of my contract with me so they can see up front what I am about and I can also see their reactions to my style. I kind of look at my style as Mary Poppins-ish, firm but kind, caring but not a pushover. If you watch the movie (which I love!) she was rather strict with high expectations of both children and parents but soft when the children needed it. I prefer to start out firmer and relax as the situation permits rather than too soft and have an uncontrollable youngster on my hands that needs to be strongly redirected.

Contracts need to be tailored to each nanny and family but if anyone would like a sample please leave a comment and I can email you a copy in Word format. It is a starting point. Not every detail in these contracts may be legally binding and laws vary state to state, so if you are in doubt contact a lawyer!