False Starts

I don't think Miss T. has a grasp yet on what this school stuff is supposed to be. Today was another day of refusing to even enter the classroom. We sat out in the hall a while. It was three of us: Miss T., her mommy, and I. Miss T. ran back and forth down the hall a while peering into the classroom but each time decided she'd rather stay in the hall. After about 20 minutes of this the Miss T. was given the choice to go into class or go home. She wanted to stay in the hall which eventually amounted to going home.

I have mixed feeling on the whole thing. I think she is too young, especially to have this kind of decision on her hands. She is independent at home within the safe watch of her parents or myself and loves doing many of the same things she would be doing at the school at this point. I personally plan to homeschool once I am blessed with little ones so my input here is pretty negligible. However, I think even if I was going to have my children trained by a school I would not send them so young that they have no way of comprehending what is going on. On the other hand many parents would believe my decision to homeschool to be overprotective and try to get their children in school and "socialized" as early as possible.

Her school directress told us that even if Miss T. goes in for as little as 15 minutes a day eventually her interest will grow and she will become more capable for classwork, gradually moving into it for the full schedule. We will see in the coming weeks if we can first work up to the fifteen minutes.

School Dazed

Miss T. started school for the first time on Monday. She is a bit young for it, not even 2 1/2 yet. The first day was only 1 hour long and went by fairly uneventfully, except for her being exhausted come nap time and really over sleeping. The second day she bumped her head on a door handle and cried inconsolably until she was brought back to her parents. There are still three more days to try this out this week but I honestly do not think she is ready for it. She has no enthusiasm for going, no clear idea of what is going on, and her attention span is lacking for the type of serious Montessori environment the school has set up. I have not actually been there yet but I have read up on the school quite a bit and Miss T.'s mom has already had indications from the staff there that they feel Miss T. may not be ready. The rigorous 5 day a week schedule is a bit much for Miss T., in my opinion.

This is really the first family of toddlers where I was not asked to assess the school or the child's readiness. It does not surprise me too much because in the area I am in there are quite a few "nannies" that really are not qualified to be called such. They are many babysitters/housekeepers. I find it disappointing but that's reality. We will see if Miss T. can manage even partial days for now, otherwise her parents will pull her now and restart later in the year or early next year. At this point I'm not sure which course I'd recommend.

Some potty training success

I was quite happy to return from my long weekend on Tuesday to hear that Miss T. continued to use the potty with her parents, even while away at her Nana's house! She actually asked them to use the potty!! During the day she is in underpants only (while with me) and at night her parents put her to bed in a diaper. I have reservations about the mixed messages this is sending, especially since they usually wait until I come in the next morning for me to make the switch back underpants for the day and by this time she is often both wet and soiled. Due to my schedule I do not know whether this happened in the morning and she is actually waking dry/clean or not. I suggested that they not order anymore diapers and use the lined underpants for the night after one last potty just before bed then potty again first thing in the morning. Time will tell whether they will actually do this.

This just demonstrates one thing. Being a nanny is not for the control freak. There are many times on most any day where things must be done as the parents want them done even if the nanny does not agree with them. Every effort must be made to show no opposition to those parental decisions to the child. That is as detrimental to a child as when parents contradict each other's decisions or undermine each other's authority. It's quite useless too because the parents are the only authority and caregiver who will be there for the child throughout their life. As much as we nannies try to blend into the family there are just and necessary boundaries.

When a real issue comes up in which a nanny feels that the parent's decision might be truly harmful (from a developmental standpoint) every effort must be made to meet with the parent separately from the child with concrete back-up as to why the nanny believes the decision is wrong. Even then, the final decision rests in the parents' hands. If physical harm/abuse were possible that is a whole other case. Contact whatever help appropriate and necessary and be prepared again to give concrete back-up.

The vast majority of the time however our differences stem from personal quirks and our own preferred modus operandi. We need to own up to that and move on so we can continue to enjoy the perks of a job that's rewarding emotionally and financially. Not every job gets bonuses paid in smiley, silly, smoochy hugs!