More on Reaching Potty Training Success

ChelB. left me a lovely comment, which is always great motivation to post! She said, "Hi! I'm also a nanny as well.... I noticed your little snippet about potty training so I wondered if you could provide some more insight!"

Thank you, ChelB. for your comment :) Well, the second go around at potty training with Miss T. was approached differently than the first, primarily because her parents were far more on board, but also because we used a few new tools. In thinking through the problems or set backs we'd had in potty training I came to a few realizations and Miss T.'s mother came up with some good ideas too.

Each child is unique when it comes to any kind of training but those differences are often amplified when it comes to potty training. In Miss T.'s case, she has a very high need for independence and also a need for privacy when it comes to toileting. This came into play when potty training because there are no readily accessible toilets on the main floor. This meant she was struggling with having to ask to go to the toilet and needing assistance to get there. Plus needing help to get up on the potty as the available step stools were too narrow for her to do that safely. By the time she got around to asking, it was way too late. My normal use of a schedule was not working this time because she needed to be left alone to go, she withheld if an adult placed her on the potty, and the schedule was not being used when I was not there so each weekend undid any progress. She was eventually relaxing enough to go when I placed her regularly but she never asked to go and would not be asked to go after I left for the day and eventually ended up wet and/or soiled.

We took a break from potty training all together as Miss T. was obviously frustrated and she has a kidney condition that makes it dangerous for her to hold for extended lengths of time, which is exactly what she was doing in the evenings and weekends.

The second time around two big helps to Miss T. were added. I requested a potty chair to be kept in Miss T.'s main play area, I also taught her how to ask for privacy and worked with her on undressing by herself before the Big Day arrived. Her mother also found this great video which despite its corny name really motivated Miss T.. All things fell together quickly after that. As I usually do, as soon as the Big Day arrived I switched her to "big kid underpants" with lots positive wording to go with it. She got to open her new chair and her video as presents and watched her new video immediately.

There was no looking back. She asked for privacy used the potty and was thrilled that she could do it herself. Within about a month she felt confident enough to go on the grown up toilet with an insert to prevent falling in and actually prefered not to use a step stool for this at all. I allowed her more independence, encouraged her to be a big girl and extended "priviledges" such as going upstairs all by herself to go potty. The potty chair is still sometimes in use if she feels a sudden urgency to go or she is travelling with her parents.

So... here are my potty training tips ;)

• First, switch to underpants or cotton training pants with plastic pants over them. I don't recommend disposable training pants for use during the day. They keep kids as dry as a disposable diaper making it hard for then to tell when they have gone therefore keeping them from making the connection between the sensation of having to go and the result. They lengthen the process considerably and are usually a kind of permission between adult and child not to take the process seriously.
  
• Second, try going with your child's normal schedule. This, of course, is much easier if your child is on a schedule to begin with. I recommend having a child sit on the potty as soon as they wake, a few minutes either before or after meals, and before leaving the house for a trip.

For many children that is all it takes! Consistency and positive verbal reinforcement go a long way for them. If your child or the child in your care is not responding take a step back and reassess. Think about your child's personality and their usual response to expectations or demands placed upon them. Ask yourself what physical barriers may be contributing to the problem and how they can be corrected. It doesn't ever have to be a power struggle because this is one of those instances when the responsiblity can be placed in their little hands as long as they are physically capable. If they are not physcally capable of performing steps such as taking off clothing as necessary then they are probably not ready for potty training either. Give whatever necessary instruction to make their independence possible then try potty training.