Some potty training success

I was quite happy to return from my long weekend on Tuesday to hear that Miss T. continued to use the potty with her parents, even while away at her Nana's house! She actually asked them to use the potty!! During the day she is in underpants only (while with me) and at night her parents put her to bed in a diaper. I have reservations about the mixed messages this is sending, especially since they usually wait until I come in the next morning for me to make the switch back underpants for the day and by this time she is often both wet and soiled. Due to my schedule I do not know whether this happened in the morning and she is actually waking dry/clean or not. I suggested that they not order anymore diapers and use the lined underpants for the night after one last potty just before bed then potty again first thing in the morning. Time will tell whether they will actually do this.

This just demonstrates one thing. Being a nanny is not for the control freak. There are many times on most any day where things must be done as the parents want them done even if the nanny does not agree with them. Every effort must be made to show no opposition to those parental decisions to the child. That is as detrimental to a child as when parents contradict each other's decisions or undermine each other's authority. It's quite useless too because the parents are the only authority and caregiver who will be there for the child throughout their life. As much as we nannies try to blend into the family there are just and necessary boundaries.

When a real issue comes up in which a nanny feels that the parent's decision might be truly harmful (from a developmental standpoint) every effort must be made to meet with the parent separately from the child with concrete back-up as to why the nanny believes the decision is wrong. Even then, the final decision rests in the parents' hands. If physical harm/abuse were possible that is a whole other case. Contact whatever help appropriate and necessary and be prepared again to give concrete back-up.

The vast majority of the time however our differences stem from personal quirks and our own preferred modus operandi. We need to own up to that and move on so we can continue to enjoy the perks of a job that's rewarding emotionally and financially. Not every job gets bonuses paid in smiley, silly, smoochy hugs!