These have been such trying days in my family. It sometimes comes to a point where it feels difficult to pray. I realize how little I understand what to ask for, what to hold on to, and what to hope for. I was reading a little this morning from Shadowlands, about C.S. Lewis's time of grief after he lost the love of his life, Joy. Every fear he ever had about giving his heart openly to someone only to feel the pain of loss came true with her passing. His doubts and anger ring so true but so does his ultimate understanding that Providence does not promise to give us all the answers but to be the answer.
When I am at a loss as to what to pray for I am perhaps most able to be still and rest in the shelter of God in silence. When it seems that there is nothing left that is secure to hold on to is when clinging to His unseen hand is most real. When all hope in is lost is perhaps when the true Hope will seem clearer. This I cannot truly say right now for my hope is still here, still flickering. It is sometimes dim and sometimes bright, but it is here. I believe while there is still life and breath in us there is still hope for healing.
Please come, our Comforter, and be our strength. Be the steady rock we can stand on and our shelter from the storm. Let not this storm of disease and disappointments wash away our faith, or hope, or love for You.
Amen
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